IN THE BEGINNING

(To justify God's ways to the 21st century)

#In the beginning was the computer. And God said

:Let there be light!

#You have not signed on yet.

:God.

#Enter user password.

:Omniscient.

#Password Incorrect. Try again!

:Omnipotent.

#Password Incorrect. Try again!

:Technocrat.

#And God signed on 12:01 a.m., Sunday, March 1.

:Let there be light!

#Unrecognizable command. Try again!

:Create light.

#Done.

:Run heaven and earth.

#And God created Day and Night. And God saw there were 0 errors.
#And God signed off at 12:02 a.m., Sunday, March 1.
#Approx. funds remaining: $92.50.

#And God signed on at 12:00 a.m., Monday, March 2.

:Let there be firmament in the midst of the water and

#Unrecognizable command! Try again!

:Create firmament.

#Done.

:Run firmament.

#And God divided the waters. And God saw there were 0 errors.
#And God signed off at 12:01 a.m., Monday, March 2.
#Approx. funds remaining: $84.60.

#And God signed on at 12:00 a.m., Tuesday, March 3.

:Let the waters under heaven be gathered together unto one place and let the dry land appear and

#Too many characters in string specification! Try again.

:Create dryland.

#Done!

:Run dryland.

#And God created Earth and Seas. And God saw there were 0 errors.
#And God signed off at 12:01 a.m., Tuesday, March 3.
#Approx. funds remaining: $65.00.

#And God signed on at 12:00 a.m., Wednesday, March 4.

:Create lights in the firmament to divide the day from the night.

#Unspecified type. Try again!

:Create sunmoonstars.

#And God created Sun, Moon, Stars. And God saw there were 0 errors.
#And God signed off at 12:01 a.m., Wednesday, March 4.
#Approx. funds remaining: $54:00.

#And God signed on at 12:00 a.m., Thursday, March 5.

:Create fish.

#Done.

:Create fowl.

#Done.

:Run fish'nfowl.

#And God created the great seamonsters and every living creature that creepeth wherewith the waters swarmed after its kind and every winged fowl after its kind. 0 errors.
#And God signed off at 12:01 a.m., Thursday, March 5.
#Approx. funds remaining: $45:00.

#And God signed on at 12:00 a.m., Friday, March 6.

:Create cattle.

#Done.

:Create creepy things.

#Done.

:Now let us make man in our image.

#Unspecified type! Try again.

:Create man.

#Done.

:Be fruitful and multiply and replenish the earth and subdue it

>> Message length exceeded, split by WILDMAIL! v3.10 << >> Continued in next message <<

and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over of the fowl of the air and over every living thing that creepeth upon the earth.

#Too many command operands! Try again.

:Run multiplication.

#Execution terminated. 6 errors.

:Insert breath.

#O.K.

:Run multiplication.

#Execution terminated. 5 errors.

:Move man to Garden of Eden.

#File Garden of Eden does not exist.

:Create Gard.En.

#Done.

:Move man to Gard.En.

#O.K.

:Run multiplication.

#Execution terminated. 4 errors.

:Copy woman from man.

#O.K.

:Run multiplication.

#Execution terminated. 3 errors.

:Insert woman into man.

#Illegal parameters. Try again!

:Insert man into woman.

#O.K.

:Run multiplication.

#Execution terminated. 2 errors.

:Create desire.

#Done.

:Run multiplication.

#And God saw man'nwoman being fruitful and multiplying in the Gard.En.
#Warning: No time limit on this run. 1 errors.

:Create freewill.

#Done.

:Run freewill.

#And God saw man'nwoman being fruitful and multiplying in the Gard.En.
#Warning: No time limit on this run. 1 errors.

:Undo desire.

#Desire cannot be undone once freewill is created.

:Destroy freewill.

#Freewill is an inaccessible file and cannot be destroyed.
#Enter replacement, cancel, or ask for help.

:Help!

#Desire cannot be undone once freewill is created.
#Freewill is an inaccessible file and cannot be destroyed.
#Enter replacement, cancel, or ask for help.

:Create Treeofknowledge.

#And God saw man'nwoman being fruitful and multiplying in the Gard.En.
#Warning: No time limit on this run. 1 errors.

:Create good'nevil.

#Done.

:Activate evil.

#And God saw he had created shame.
#Warning: System error in sector E95. Man'nwoman not in Gard.En.
#1 errors.

:Scan Gard.En. for man'nwoman.

#Man'nwoman cannot be located. Try again!

:Search Gard.En. for man'nwoman.

#Search failed.

:Delete shame.

#Shame cannot be deleted once evil has been activated.

:Destroy freewill.

#Freewill an inaccessible file and cannot be destroyed.

:Stop!

#Unrecognizable command. Try again.

:Break :Break :Break

#ATTENTION ALL USERS ATTENTION ALL USERS: COMPUTER GOING DOWN FOR REGULAR DAY OF MAINTENANCE AND REST IN FIVE MINUTES. PLEASE SIGN OFF.

:Create new world.

#You have exceeded your allotted file space. You must destroy old files before new ones can be created.

:Destroy earth.

#Destroy earth. Please confirm.

HOME :Destroy earth confirmed.

#COMPUTER DOWN. COMPUTER DOWN. SERVICES WILL RESUME ON SUNDAY MARCH 8 AT 6:00 A.M. YOU MUST SIGN OFF NOW!

#And God signed off at 11:59 p.m., Friday, March 6.
#And God he had zero funds remaining