The Essential Murphy's Laws

Murphy's Law: If anything can go wrong, it will.

Murphy's Philosophy: Smile... Tomorrow will be worse.

Murphy's Constant: Matter will be damaged in direct proportion to its value.

Ilse's Law: There is always an easier way to do it.

Chisholm's Second Law: When things are going well, something will go wrong.

Finagle's Fourth Law: Once something is fouled up, anything done to improve it will only make it worse.

Pudder's Law: Anything that begins well, ends badly. Anything that begins badly, ends worse.

Stockmayer's Theorem: If it looks easy, it's tough. If it looks tough, it's damn well impossible.

First Law of Bicycling: No matter which way you ride, it's uphill and against the wind.

Anthony's Law of Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll into the least accessible corner of the workshop.

Corollary: On the way to the corner, it will strike your toes.

Paul's Law: You can't fall off the floor.

Sattinger's Law: It works better if you plug it in.

Lowery's Law: If it jams - force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.

Anthony's Law of Force: Don't force it; get a large hammer.

Schmidt's Law: If you mess with it long enough, it'll break.

Cahn's Axiom: When all else fails, read the instructions.

Young's Law: All great discoveries are made by mistake.

Worker's Dilemma: 1. No matter how much you do, it's not enough.
2. What you don't do is more important than what you do.

Bechap's Law: Beauty times brain equals a constant.

Fowler's Note: The only imperfect thing in nature is the human race.

Pardo's First Postulate: Anything good in life is either illegal, immoral or fattening.

Newton's Little Known Seventh Law: A bird in the hand is safer than one overhead.

The Army Axiom: Any order that can be misunderstood has been misunderstood.

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