The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
be the official language of the EU, rather than German, which was the other
possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded
that English spelling has some room for improvement and has accepted a five
year phase in plan that would be known as "EuroEnglish": in the first year,
"s" will replace the short "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants
jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favor of the "k". This should
clear up konfusion and keyboards kan have 1 less letter. There will be
growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will
be replaced with the "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20% shorter.
In the third year, publik akseptanze of the new spelling kan be expekted to
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments
will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a
deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the
silent "e"s in the language is disgraseful, and they should go away. By the
4th yer, people wil be reseptive to steps such as replasing "th" with "z"
and "w" with "v". During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from
vords kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer
kombinations of leters. After zis fifz yer, ve vil have a reli sensibl riten
styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi to
understand ech ozer . . .

ZE DREM VIL FINALI KUM TRU!!!

Rok

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ROK KRASEVEC * Student politologije APJU 4.letnik - FDV rok.krasevec@uni-lj.si
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