OBRAZLOZITEV:
Glede na zamorjenost prejsnjih 84 sporocil sem si rekel: Leon tvoja dolznost
je, da odresis te ljudi in jim vsem osmim posljes nekaj zabavnega, a me je moj
dober spomin takoj opomnil na kritike, ki sem jih slisal (bral), glede
neprimernosti mojih sporocil, zato dodajam tole opozorilo:

TO KAR BOSTE BRALI V NADALJEVANJU JE STOS NEKATERIM ZNAN TUDI KOT VIC ALI
ZGODBA, KI PA TEMELJI NA RESNICNIH DOGODKIH. VSEM, KI SI NE ZELITE ZGORAJ
OPISANEGA V SVOJEM MAIL-U BRISITE TO SPOROCILO Z USTREZNIM UKAZOM NA MOJ
ZNAK......ZDAJ!!!

Leon

THE UNKINDEST CUT OF ALL

by Dave Barry

I want to warn you right away that today's topic involves an
extremely mature subject matter that might offend your community
standards, if your community has any.

I became sensitive about community standards recently when,
at the suggestion of no less than a U.S. Supreme Court justice,
I wrote a column about a ground-breaking antiflatulence product
called Beano. Some newspapers -- and I do not wish to name
names, but two of them were the Portland Oregonian and the St.
Louis Post-Dispatch -- refused to print this column on the
grounds that it was tasteless and offensive. Which of course it
was, although it was *nothing* like the disgusting trash you
hear from the Senate Judiciary Committee.

Anyway, those readers who have community standards should
leave the room at this time, because today's topic is:
circumcision. This is a common medical procedure that involves
-- and here, in the interest of tastefulness, I am going to use
code names -- taking hold of a guy's Oregonian and snipping his
Post-Dispatch right off. This is usually done to tiny guy babies
who don't have a clue as to what is about to happen. One minute
a baby is lying happily in his little bed, looking at the world
and thinking what babies think (basically, "Huh?"), and suddenly
along comes a large person and *snip* WAAAAHHH the baby is
dramatically introduced to the concept that powerful strangers
can fill his life with pain for no apparent reason. This is
excellent training for dealing with the Internal Revenue
Service, but it's no fun at the time.

Most of us guys deal with this unpleasant experience by
eventually erasing it from our conscious minds, the way we do
with algebra. But some guys never get over it. I base this
statement on a San Jose Mercury News article, written by Michael
Oricchio and mailed to me by many alert readers, concerning a
group of men in California who are very upset about having been
circumcised as babies. They have formed a support group called
RECAP. In the interest of good taste I will not tell you what the
P in RECAP stands for, but the "RECA" part stands for
"Recover A ... "

According to the article, the members (sorry!) of RECAP are
devoted to restoring themselves to precircumcision condition
"through stretching existing skin or by surgery." I swear I am
not making this up. Here is a quotation from RECAP co-founder R.
Wayne Griffiths:

"There are a lot of men who are enraged that they were violated
without their consent and they want to do something about it.
I've always been fascinated by intact men. I just thought it
looked nicer. I had friends growing up who were intact. I
thought, `Gee, that's what I'd like to be.'"

The article states that, to become intact again, Griffiths
invented a 7 1/2 ounce skin-stretching device that "looks like a
tiny steel barbell," which he taped to the end of his Oregonian
and wore for "four to 12 hours every day, except weekends, for a
year." Using this method, he grew himself an entirely new
Post-Dispatch. Other RECAP members are involved in similar
efforts. They meet regularly to discuss technique and review
their progress.

I'm not sure how I feel about all this. I'm a middle-age
white guy, which means I'm constantly reminded that my
particular group is responsible for the oppression of every
known minority PLUS most wars PLUS government corruption PLUS
pollution of the environment, not to mention that it was
middle-age white guys who killed Bambi's mom. So I'm pleased to
learn that I myself am an oppressed victim of something. But
no matter how hard I try, I can't get enraged about it. I've
asked other guys about this.

"Are you enraged about being circumcised?" I say.

"What?" they say.

So I explain about RECAP.

"WHAT??" they say.

I have yet to find a guy who's enraged. And nobody I talked
to was interested in miniature barbells, let alone surgery. Most
guys don't even like to *talk* about medical procedures
involving the Oregonian region. One time my wife and I were at a
restaurant with two other couples, and one of the women, Susan,
started describing her husband Bob's vasectomy, which she had
witnessed.

"NO!" we guys shouted, curling our bodies up like boiled
shrimp. "Let's not talk about that!"

But our wives were *fascinated*. They egged Susan on, and
she went into great detail, forcing us guys to stick wads of
French bread in our ears and duck our heads under the table.
Periodically, we'd come up to see if the coast was clear, but
Susan would be saying "And then the doctor picked up this thing
that looked like a big crochet needle..." And BONK we guys would
bang our heads together ducking back under the table.

So Post-Dispatchwise, I think I'm going to remain an
oppressed victim. But don't let me tell the rest of you guys
what to think; it's your decision. This is a free country. In
most communities.